raining..

slept rather late last night.. cox was watching some shows.. so naturally woke up late.. actually I just woke up not long ago.. was pretty warm.. almost woke up serveral times.. but I chose to sleep back.. suddenly I woke up.. not cox of alarm or I am late for work of whatever.. just that it suddenly rained! really very heavily.. very very heavily.. It has been some times ever since it rained like that.. very nice..

I woke up and saw shan's msg.. okay.. she did really well for her paper.. should be happy for her.. I am really happy for her.. but the feeling now just dont match what I wanted to be.. cox when I know everyone's results.. I think of mine again.. it is not bad.. it is VERY EXTREMELY bad.. I am very very sad for myself.. yes I dnt study.. and I am very mad at myself why I dnt take it seriously.. why I cant differentiate holiday and schoOl reopen and get myself down to study hard.. keep thinking to do better next sem.. but do you know it is not easy to bring up my CAP score.. *sianx*

as sudden as the rain comes.. It went away.. within ten mins, the heavy rain stopped.. and the sun is out.. I think it is very funny.. very contradicting.. it is just ten mins.. and everything changed.. sun shines.. and I am very sianx of this view.. I want the heavy rain few mins ago.. cox it kind of reflect my feeling now.. *sianx..

maybe should like the weather.. sad for a while than cheer up again.. cox it is not the end of semesters.. I have 7 more to go.. easy to be said.. not that easy to be done..

*I dont like the sun.. I want the rain..*

*sy_xgmu*

-pingxin-